Marriage is one of the most important relationships God has given us. From the very beginning, God created and ordained marriage as a sacred covenant between a husband and a wife. Genesis 2 teaches that a man is to leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two are to become one flesh. That means marriage is meant to be the closest human relationship we have.
Marriage is also intended to be for life. When we marry, we make vows before God and witnesses—promises to remain faithful in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, until death separates us. Scripture teaches that God takes our words seriously, and that includes our marriage vows.
And finally, Scripture is clear that God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). God loves marriage, and He desires for it to last. Because of all this, protecting our marriages should matter deeply to us.
Today we will look at three areas where marriages must be protected:
- From other people
- From bitterness
- From busyness and the distractions of daily life
1. Protecting Your Marriage from Other People
Jesus said in Matthew 19 that when a man and a woman marry, they become one flesh, and no one should separate what God has joined together. That means no relationship should ever come between a husband and a wife.
Threats from other people usually fall into two categories:
- Threats to marital faithfulness, such as emotional or physical affairs.
- Threats to marital harmony, such as interference from family members, friends, or even children when boundaries are not healthy.
To protect against these threats, couples must work to:
- Keep their relationship strong and current by spending quality time together.
- Set up personal boundaries or “hedges”—wise rules that guard the marriage, such as avoiding private time with members of the opposite sex, avoiding flirtation, and protecting emotional closeness.
- Always remember that your spouse must be your top human priority—above parents, children, coworkers, hobbies, and friends.
Marriage thrives when husband and wife intentionally protect that oneness.
2. Protecting Your Marriage from Bitterness
Colossians 3:19 says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” While this command is directed at husbands, bitterness can affect both men and women.
Bitterness is more than momentary anger. It is the condition of holding onto hurt for longer than the offense warrants. It happens when a spouse feels constantly irritated, frustrated, or resentful. Over time, even small offenses—harsh words, misunderstandings, financial stress, and repeated habits—can pile up and take root in the heart.
Bitterness grows when:
- Hurt is not communicated
- Forgiveness is withheld
- Misunderstandings go unresolved
- Communication breaks down
To protect a marriage from bitterness, couples must:
- Learn to communicate well
- Assume goodwill instead of assuming bad intentions
- Practice forgiveness, just as Christ forgives us
- Stop repeating behaviors that hurt your spouse
- Extend grace instead of keeping score
Love and bitterness cannot live together. Where forgiveness grows, love is protected.
3. Protecting Your Marriage from Busyness
Busyness is one of the greatest silent threats to marriages. Work, children’s activities, church involvement, hobbies, chores, technology, and social media all compete for our time and energy. None of these things are wrong—but when they consume us, the marriage relationship can suffer.
Couples must intentionally:
- Spend quality time together
- Stay emotionally connected
- Make space for meaningful conversation
- Sometimes even say no to good things in order to protect the best thing
It’s not enough to simply be “together”—we must stay connected. Many couples are physically together but emotionally distant. If we are not careful, one day the children will be grown, the schedules will slow down, and we may find ourselves sitting across from someone we no longer truly know.
Marriage requires intentional attention through every season of life.
Conclusion
Protecting your marriage is not automatic—it requires purpose and effort.
We protect our marriages by:
- Guarding against outside interference
- Removing bitterness through communication and forgiveness
- Resisting the pull of busyness and choosing connection
Marriage is a gift from God. When we protect it, we honor Him, strengthen our families, and build a foundation that blesses the church and future generations.